I Wait

They tell me my words were good.

They whisper “Where are you now?

You are not who you used to be

You are not right

You are not...”

I am me.

I am where I was meant to be.

This path was one I chose to walk on

And I shan't regret not following the herd

They tell me I'm strange

And wrong

And ask me to fight.

They tell me to hold my head high

To smile and accept all fury

To suck in my belly and hold the noose tight

Be right

Be right

I am not right.

I am anything but straight neat and sheer perfection

I am anything but confidence and strict beliefs

I am anything but the box they're trying to fit me in

They frown

They walk away

Anger. Fury. How dare she give up?

How dare she not try,

They whisper in menace

And I merely look up to say

It's not the right time

As the world explodes around me

In a spray of blood, sweat and agony

I wait

I wait for the tide to calm

For a breath of fresh air

I wait

I wait for my muse

As she takes my hand

And gently shows me the yellow path

That is when I wake up

That is when I let the anger loose

That is when I let my heart explode

Leaving tears and gasps in my wake

Fragments of my soul touching theirs

Stirring the still, calming the panicked

As I lie still in the dust

Finally smiling.