City of grey

Dear city of toxic grey
I still hate you when I'm far away
When i step back by your buildings tall
The cars wizz by and splat i fall
Dear city of high rise walls
Your bricks are prisons for ragged dolls
And when i shut my eye in bed
Poison air wants to choke me dead
Dear city of burning red
The sky is not pure and I've lost my head
To the brisk pace no looking back or catching a break
Pull on the mask and act all fake
Dear city, where my life is at stake
I left and went on up to make
My life more calm and real and true
Then why is it that I miss you?

Try

Whispers in the night
Poisonous venom stabbing your gut
As you swallow the scream and
Blink away your burning eyes
Words haunt your mind
Hopelessness in your heart
"End me," you beg
As you silently wish for relief
Match strike, light the flame
Crztchk crack zzzle crack
The wax melts, drops on the dirt floor
It's wet with slime and you're still burning
Screaming writhing in pain for it just won't stop
Stop please! Stop now!
Screams for help
For mercy and death
But no
That hallucination is smiling
Laughing at your fate
As you reach out but never grab
It is too far away
But you writh and struggle closer
As your legs drag behind you
Useless, scrapped and bloodied as your nails
You crawl across the grime
"Please! Please!" you cry
But your guardian angel
Has either given up
Or is dead
And there is a knife in your hand
Cool and tempting you place it on your heart
The hallucination flickers
You pull the knife away and it's back
Watching you intently
Wearing your face and everything you ever wished to be
Lips frowning, brows crunched on confusion of its existence
"You shall not vanish," you whisper and drop the knife
And crawl again closer to the hallucination that's now weeping
"Not you! I need you to be perfect," you say, making it look up and wipe its face
You heave a sigh and shut your eyes
And your room englufs you
The hallucination is gone and
The sunlight is making the curtains glow.
Your watch has not ended
Still a long ways to go